Questions and answers about Single parenting           1. If I can't afford to live on my own, where would I live with my baby?      Explore housing options before you deliver.   Look for a safe and affordable place.       Consider your child-care options in each situation:       *living with friend or relative       *living in a group home for single mothers       * living with your parents or the birthfather's parents       * living in public, subsidized housing ( though there may be a waiting list)

2. Is there anyone  that will help me get baby things?

Many churches and community agencies are eager to help with baby items.   The local crisis pregnancy center in your town can connect you with parenting classes and other resources, including public assistance for medical and financial needs.

3. How do I get support from the birthfather?

The birthfather's legal responsibilities include providing financial support for your child.  Most states have a child support enforcement agency which will withhold money from his paycheck if he is unwilling to pay.. If the birthfather is unable to provide child support, you  need to plan how you will care for your baby without it. A birthfather's support record may influence court decisions about custody and visitation rights.

4. What rights does the birthfather have? In some states, the birthfather's name is not even placed on the birth certificate unless the mother requests it.  If he has signed a notarized paternity affidavit, he may have legal rights, including visitation and the right to deny or consent to medical decisions for your child.  An attorney or your state department of social services representative will provide more details about the birthfather's rights and responsibilities.  You and the birthfather should also discuss your individual rights and responsibilities.  A child's needs are best met when birthparents work together.

5. I don't want to be a birthmother on welfare.  Can I get job training?

If you are receiving assistance, you may be eligible for programs which help with job training, tuition, and child care.  Otherwise, you might rely on educational grants and loans while working to cover living expenses and child care. Single parenting often means altering or postponing your goals and plans.

6. Will I have to quit school?

Most schools will encourage you to continue your education.  Some schools offer night classes, loans, child care, and even transportation.   You may decide to take a semester  off while you adjust to single parenting, but you can still reach your  educational goals.

7. How will single parenting affect my dating?

Parenting may limit your dating.  When you chose to parent, your child's needs will demand most of your attention.  Some people  you date may not want to take second place to a child.  Others will not mind that you  are parenting. Before getting into a serious relationship, consider the effect on your child.  Try to balance freedom and responsibility.  Allow yourself some"fun time" in your schedule, or you may begin to resent parenting your child.

8. Can I still choose adoption later if parenting doesn't work out?

If single parenting becomes too difficult and you decide to consider adoption, you are not a "bad" parent. It takes courage to realize that  by yourself you cannot provide all that your child needs.  But separating from a child with whom you have bonded can be difficult. A trusted and wise counselor can help you and your child through this process.  Look for an agency that can help you make an adoption plan you can live with.